Saturday, June 19, 2010

"Bad to Death" (Miss Priss Edition)

Snotty Chearleader of the Week




Glee whiz, it's Ryan Murphy.

My last column, "Bad to Death", comes with a nice postscript.

I saw "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" on Monday night and thought it was terrific. I've also heard good things about "Toy Story 17,000," so here's hoping.

The Illegal Wedding Fair was lots of fun, and I even sold a few bucks.

Remember, never take me seriously unless I'm joking.

All my best,
David Toussaint

Now, THAT'S a postscript.

--drt

Saturday, May 22, 2010

The Bully Pulpit (Cake-Cutting Edition)


My new column, The Bully Pulpit, is a long time in the making; since childhood, to be exact. I wrote it up after I had lunch with Carson Kressley, and he suggested the idea. My initial reaction was, YOU should be writing this, as he has such a wonderful way of expressing his individuality.

Anyway, he got me to thinking, and after all the stuff with the girl in Springfield, Massachusetts, it seemed like a good idea. How do you survive something like this and not write about it? Or do something about it? Then, I think the next day, there was another article in the New York Times, Phoebe Prince, documenting the tragedy.

I don't remember when I started writing the column, but it seemed to take forever. What doesn't surprise me are all the readers' comments I received saying they'd had a very similar childhood. Tragic, huh. What a lot of people don't realize about writing is that, when you do write about something personal, it becomes less personal after publication, because 99.9 percent of the time a million other people have experienced something similar.

On an ironic note, now I've written a gay and lesbian wedding book and live in place where the only bullies are internal ones.

I'll be speaking at the Illegal Wedding Fair on June 6. It should be fun.

Take care of yourself, and each other. And keep your eyes open.

All my best,
David Toussaint

Friday, May 7, 2010

My Particular Penis

My last column, Mo-Bro, was written awhile back but I've not had a chance to post it until now.

You see, My Particular Penis was in Miami for almost a month, doing what penises so often do: lying in the sun, hitting the beach, thinking for me.

I hope that you like Mo-Bro. The man it was based on has not read it, and, ironically, has a new girlfriend who's madly in love with him, and who's gorgeous. It seems she feels the same way about him. I'm thrilled for both of them.

That particular bathing suit belongs to my friend Rusty, who was kind enough to loan it to me. I grew very fond of it and even took it to SoBe. 
It had a good time.

Well, that's all for new. It's tired and time to get some work done.

RETRO PENIS EXCLUSIVE

Ah, good times. Good Penises.

David Toussaint

Monday, March 29, 2010

Past, Tense

Bye Bye David

Dave at 18 ("Bye Bye Birdie," Onstage Theater, Walnut Creek, California.

It's not that these pictures are so old that it's scary; it's that it's my real hair in the photos. I remember going to class the day after one performance and some chick saying to her friend, "Oh My God*, he really has a pompadour."

*OMG was not used back then.

I bring up my past because someone interviewed me for their Reincarnation Blog. And 18 was another life ago. I didn't much care for most of it, and my heart was broken so many times that year. Oddly, the girl who played Kim in the show had a crush on me, as someone in the chorus informed me. She was beautiful and a wonderful singer. I sooooooooo wanted to be straight, because I thought it would be so cool if the two "stars" were dating. But it wasn't meant to be. Her name was Laura--don't know what happened to her; she's probably on Facebook :)

In Latin America News, Gay Like You interviewed me about being, well, gay like me. The gentleman who runs the blog is from Peru, and I told him about one of my first boyfriends in New York, Willie, who was a Peruvian flight attendant-slash-hustler. Curiously, that part of the interview was left out. I loved Willie. He wanted to be a model, and he could have been. We kept in touch for a long time, and I think he put away the hustling shoes for permanent wings.

All for now.

"Give me evidence of its brilliance."--Madonna, "Future Lovers"



















you're in the book,
--David Toussaint

Saturday, March 20, 2010

DR(an)T (Did "Dancing with the Stars" Twist the Ankle?)

Welcome to DR(an)T.
Photo: "Bachelor" Jake Pavelka warms up before his DWTS debut Monday night.



As DWTS starts its 10th season Monday Night, I'm not going to be watching. I wrote up a short piece as to my thoughts on the show. Enjoy (and hey, catch up on your reading...that's what I'm gonna do).

How Dancing with the Stars Twisted Its Ankle, by David Toussaint...

The success of “Dancing with the Stars” rests in its perfectly balanced title. TV audiences love to watch professional dancers, and they love to watch stars. Combining the two was genius. I first checked out the show in 2007, the season that Marie Osmond fainted, and was instantly hooked. Watching Donny’s famous sister dance as a wind-up doll wasn’t why I kept coming back, and I never would have tuned in to a show in which Susan Lucci read poetry or Mario Lopez debated global warming. The dancers rooted the storyline, and served as the straight man to their celebrity partner’s frequent pratfalls, sometimes glorious triumphs.

In the few years since, the show has lost its equal footing. The ratings are still great (DWTS has always been a top ten hit), but the fun factor’s slipped. Part of the problem was inevitable: Since the program features many of the same dancers each season, after five years those dancers are more recognizable than half the “stars.” Cheryl Burke, Mark Ballas, and Derek Hough, just to name a few, are famous in their own right, and it’s embarrassing to watch them play second banana to a former “Maxim” model.

The other problem feeds the first: DWTS is no longer about “stars”; it’s about celebrity and popularity. Viewers’ votes count for half the scores, and while that’s necessary for ratings and surprise, it’s become a joke. With few exceptions, most notably Brooke Burke, Season 8’s winner (DWTS is on twice a year, hence the disparity between seasons and years aired), the best dancers now just get bumped off early or lose to whoever’s got a stronger text-coordinated voting drive.

Last season we saw Mya lose to Donny Osmond; before that Gilles Marini lost to gymnast Shawn Johnson. Gilles and Mya could have careers as dancers, while Donny and Shawn were adorable fan favorites. I missed Emmitt Smith’s win over Mario Lopez, but I don’t think I have to remind you which of the two went on to star in “A Chorus Line” on Broadway. Other exceptional dancer-stars, like Sabrina Bryan in 2007, got voted off early for no apparent reason other than that viewers were annoyed by their personalities, or talent.

The three judges could help matters by scoring every star equally, not on the “most improved” rating scale they too frequently practice. To avoid the endless, discussion-board arguments over dance training, the producers should set a firm, stated rule as to how much experience stars are allowed. Last year, Executive Producer Conrad Green said he’d welcome Paula Abdul as a guest, despite her long career as a dancer/choreographer. He cited her lack of ballroom training as sufficient. By that standard, Mikhail Baryshnikov would be eligible. (When former “Hairspray” star Marissa Jaret Winokur competed, no one questioned her Tony Award-winning turn as an overweight girl who’s such a fantastic dancer she makes it big on a local dance program.)

There’s a marked difference between a star and a celebrity, and the latter approach is a turn off, literally. While I’m not expecting Streisand or Streep to take guest spins, half the “stars” are famous for either modeling topless (Burke and last season’s Joanna Krupa), their own reality TV shows (rejected bachelorette Melissa Rycroft), or scandal (indicted Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay’s appearance was shameless).

They do have other resources: This past summer I interviewed Olympic champion Greg Louganis about his tireless, and highly publicized, efforts to appear on the program. Despite five gold medals and two books, the Greatest Diver in the World has been turned down repeatedly. The openly gay athlete has been told that he has either “too much dance experience,” or not enough “star power.” Apparently, Winokur didn’t suffer either one of those problems. Since Lance Bass, the only openly gay star to appear on the show, surfaced right after gay rights groups complained that the program discriminated against out dancers, I suspect that DeLay’s appearance wasn’t the first political choice.

Rejected Star: Not Enough Fame.

Season Ten, which premieres on March 22, pairs Shannen Doherty, Pamela Anderson, and Buzz Aldrin as real stars amid a lot of people you need wouldn’t notice unless you bumped into them on Dmitry Chaplin’s arm. Not surprisingly, the biggest attraction this season is realty star crash Kate Gosselin, who’s out-performing even the New Bachelor, Jake Pavelka, in the pre-publicity buzz. (In yet another sad trend, Pavelka and Rycroft were recruited immediately after their respective “Bachelor” shows’ finales, making DWTS seem like just another ABC cross-over marketing ploy.)

DWTS was never intended to be anything more than an exuberant talent contest, and a chance to watch some of your favorite entertainers strut their stuff. What many of us liked about the show was that it was a viable alternative to the mean-spirited themes of “Idol,” “Survivor,” and, yes, Gosselin’s own “Kate Plus 8.” That smart premise has been replaced by online sites that bash contestants and invent rumors about stars made famous because they’re booked, a voting standard that wouldn’t hold up in any middle school, and the inevitable disappointment of knowing that the best dancer you see on March 22 will more than likely be gone before the Mirror Ball trophy finds its winner.




<<<<"DWTS" brightest star.
 
You're in the book.

Friday, March 19, 2010

"The Funny Pit"

Enter At Your Own Risk...


My blog had to go on vacation as I've spent the past month chasing down freelance checks. Exhausting work, this getting what is owed to you. I wrote a column for EDGE, called "The Funny Pit."

The Funny Pit

I hope that you enjoy it. I saw "The Blind Side" the night before the Oscars. Oy. Sandra Bullock is such a fine actor, and that was such a bad movie.

Regardless, I strongly suggest you see Bruno if you missed it.

Good news on the book front: "Toussaint!" is now available on Mac and Blackberry; the Kindle App is free, so you only pay the $9.99 price. Check it out.

"Toussaint!" on Mac and Blackberry!

Okay, off to gym. Will blog more soon. It's been an exhausting month.

And remember, you're in the book.
                                                                 David Toussaint

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

"How to Write a Fire," by David Toussaint (DIRECTOR'S CUT)

Hi,
Just thought I would post my new column, "'How to Write a Fire,'" by David Toussaint."

 (gay people make the mainstream tongue-tied)

"How to Write a Fire," by David Toussaint

I've been meaning to write this story for a couple of years, but never felt the time was right. As I wrote in the column, I no longer have the same fears I used to; don't care what people think. And many of my fears are gone. The important things matter. Health, happiness, my friends, my dog, my loves.

And I've realized that, if you don't stand up for what you believe in, you might as well grab a mud hut and settle down.

I also have the original New York Times Business Section Article, HERE!

Alas, "The Striking Similarities Between the Chelsea Boy and the Conde Nast Girl" is gone. The site that published it, Outsider Inc., vanished awhile back and removed all content. But, as you can imagine, it was quite scandalous (lol).

The actual "Bride's" gay and lesbian wedding article, "Outward Bound," is not on-line. Perhaps I'll frame my printed copy :)

All my best,
David

PS: They really are in the book!
David Toussaint