Well, well, well, I just couldn't take it any longer. Everytime it opens up its mouth something comes out, something a normal, intelligent, caring human being would toss into the trash. It has no brain, no morals, no insight, no philosophy; worse, it's proud of this.
But last week, it outdid itself, again. We cultural elitists didn't think that was possible--I mean, wha'ts left?--but there it went again, going after the First Lady over healthy food and fighting obesity (apparently, that's a bad thing, an Anti-American cause, a (wink, wink) "socialist" cause). Ah, yes, its wisdom in spades. All is bad that isn't it. It has all the answers, and only answers to itself. And when it doubt, it says no.
So the dumbass of the week is everyone's favorite non-entity,
I pushed her as far right as possible.
Here's what it said about Michelle Obama's nutrition "kick." No, this isn't an SNL skit; it just reads (try it out loud, Palin) that way.
Sarah (rhymes with "Smile"), we know that you're only platform are the ones you walk on. You have no solutions, no ideas other than attacking everyone else and hoping God intervenes (sadly, he'd have to should you ever be in power). You are a true dumbass. And, when you think about it, I don't even think you'd refudiate that title.
Since I'm racked with guilt for making you look at her, I thought I'd leave you with another smart ass.
Saints, like many good things, are often a group effort. This week, instead of picking out a certain person for Madonna-hood, I had to go for the whole nine yards, the kit and the caboodle, in short, the Big Picture. So the Patron Saint Sunday award goes to the movie...
The movie tells the story of "outed" CIA agent Valerie Plame, who's husband, Joe Wilson, wrote a New York Times op-ed piece that exosed lies from the White House about Nigeria, WMDs, and invading Iraq. It's a wonderful reminder of the horrors of the Bush years. More than that, it's a testament to the power of movie-making as social tool, to the spirit of democracy, and to the American Values we fight for every day.
Thanks to Naomi Watts, Sean ("You gotta give 'em hope") Penn, and director Doug Liman. Of course, a big thanks to real-life married couple Plame and Wilson for their fight and their story and their courage.
And keep this movie in mind next time someone tells you how to think.
Ah, who to pick? So many to choose from: There's that Flip-Flopper Cindy McCain, along with Flop-Flibber hubby John (my god, let's hope they don't-Flip F*** at home). There's the endless vile of Sarah Palin (you know, she's a given each week, but, quite frankly, I can't bear the thought of staring at a photo of her; and, of course, there's Glenn Beck and his cute anti-Semitism (and we haven't even hit the new House and Senate members).
So who'd I'd choose....
That lovely family man, Tony Perkins. Apparently, the sage thinks gays in the military are going to result in the return of the draft. (Um, Tony, that only happens in those Colt porn flicks you watch at home.) Here's what the wise one had to say this week...Man oh Man if only those guys would come to my home!
It looks as if Mr. Perkins is still desperately seeking to outdo the original Psycho!
Frankly, I think the guy on the left looks less harmless.
Okay, since you were all so good about reading up on a dumbass, I think I should leave you with a really smart...
Because he's the smartest man in politics and he's not in politics. Because he's the most hated man in America because he's the most correct man in America. Because he wrote about the crimes of Bush before it was safe to do so. Because he speaks without pretension or arrogance or vanity. And because so few writers can do that. And because this was a particularly loathsome week for Dumb#sses, it seemed a good time to remind the world of the smart ones. And because of that and so much more, the Patron Madonna Saint Monday is....
In this messy week, some people did nice things. Good things. Things to talk about, celebrate, even make us, dare we say it, proud? I had lots of people to think about, but my pick for Patron Saint Sunday is none other than Anderson (Android) Cooper.
Not only is he so hot you want to take him out of his closet and wear him for at least a day, he busted the chops of some very stupid people. First there was that dolt Clint McCance Oy Gay Hate, but even more impressive was his attack on the 200 million dollar a day Obamumbai myth supported by none other than everyone's favorite Mad Hatter Michelle Bachmann.
(No, he really does; honest; he won't even bully people anymore; you know, unless he gets paid to show naked photos).
Okay, dudes, here's the problem. First, Perez et al have a point about Obama; a strong one. But they refuse to do their homework before throwing sand in his face. Barack Obama has actually done more for gay people than ANY OTHER PRESIDENT IN U.S. HISTORY.
Wow, imagine that!!!! I mean, Ann Coulter must have made that up, right?
To quote my friend Farhad, President Obama "passed a hate crimes law that for the first time includes hate crimes against homosexuals. Obama also extended family leave to include gay and lesbians. In the past year and a half, President Obama used his powers to expand federal rights and benefits for gays and lesbians, targeting one government restriction after another in an attempt to change public policy while avoiding a confrontation with Republicans and opponents of gay rights....
Remember, too, that President Bush's (that would be W.) administration wouldn't sign a UN Resolution de-criminalizing homosexuality around the world (the Obama Admins signed it within 3 months of the Presidency).
Okay, not exactly a repeal of DADT or the end of DOMA, but it's probably worth mentioning, right pinky pinkos? And here's the rub: The Republicans have an anti-GAY agenda. To put it in simpler terms, they don't like you. They don't want you to get married, they don't want you to have AIDS funding; many of them would much prefer you end your pesky little insignificant lives.
So you can piss and moan about Obama, but if you think the New House and Emboldened Senate are here to help you, you should probably start getting all your news from Perez Hilton. At least you FEEL better.